Title: Three Sides to Every Lifetime: Mischief

Author: tarotgal
Fandom: Harry Potter

Characters: Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, Prongs and Prongs' lovely chica
Parings: Sirius/Remus
Rating: R
Spoilers: read the third book at least
Disclaimer: J.K.R.'s characters and world and I don't get a dime for this
Summary: Part 1 in my 'Three sides to every lifetime' trilogy. A light story set in their seventh year, in which we find Remus and Sirius both sick in bed, poor things.

Note: thanks to my boyfriend who helped me come up with a title… course he won't read the darn thing, but I take what I can get

Comments: Sure!




Three Sides to Every Lifetime:



            Two sniffles, two tired, repressed yawns. Two lumps beneath the covers, two thermometers stuck between tongues. One bright gold pocket watch between them tickling away the time. Sirius, tall even for an eighteen year old, with bushy black hair and dark, brooding eyes, had his arm drawn protectively around his mate. Remus, who was smaller, light brown-haired, was the one who looked worn out.


            Oy eed suh au'er,” Remus complained around the thermometer, rubbing miserably at his throat.


            “Uh?” the other replied, trying not to laugh lest he drop the thermometer. Remus mimed taking a drink and Sirius nodded his understanding, glancing at the empty water glass on his bedside table. “Oh.”


            The pocket watch, a hand-me-down from Remus' father, chimed with an odd, unsoothing melody of chirps and boings, and each boy removed the thermometer from the others' mouth.


            Sirius read first. “Yeah, you've got a bit of a fever,” and he tightened his grip around the man's shoulders in a reassuring sort of way. Just following that, he swung his head away and sneezed abruptly, uncovered “Hurchahh!” as if it had taken him by complete surprise.


            Meanwhile Remus inspected the other thermometer. “And you haven't got a fever at all. Looks like you're not sick. You can go get me some water then.” Sirius shot daggers at him over the folds of a rather crumpled handkerchief, then blew his nose loudly in reply.


            So Remus tucked the blankets up a little better and rubbed the back of his neck. “I know, I feel lousy, too.”


            His arm positioned well, Sirius began to massage the back of Remus' neck and his shoulders. “I wodder if Beter's got this, too.”


            “Doubt it,” Remus replied, closing his eyes with a relaxed sigh. “Peter didn't stay out in the rain with James as long as we did. He was the lookout in the corridor, remember?”


            Nodding, Sirius' eyes squinted closed and he gave another rough “Hurchoo!” into his handkerchief which none-the-less remained dry albeit wrinkled. Peter, as the smallest in animal form, could easily hide and thus frequently acted as lookout on their missions, though Remus had the sneaky suspicion that Peter's sub-adequate skill at spells and dueling might have something to do with that as well. “Add Jabes? How's he feelig?”


            Loads better,” James answered, striding dramatically into the boys' dormitory. He took a deep breath and sighed, pulling back one of the curtains and settling down at the foot of Sirius' bed. “You lads don't look so well, though.” He laughed and ducked as Sirius answered by launching a pillow at his head.


            “Caught your cold,” Remus agreed, rubbing his hand against his nose roughly, then rubbing at his eyes and coughing. “It's just lovely. Thanks ever so much.” And he coughed again, wincing.


            “Sorry.” He reached over and ruffled both heads of hair in a playful yet affectionate sort of way. “Let me get you some water.” He poured two glasses of water from the pitcher which sat on the windowsill and carried them back over carefully.


            Sirius happened to be sneezing again. Huhchoo! Herchahhh! Hehhep-tchoo! From the look of things, he was already getting tired of sneezing so much.


            James winced at the display, but still softly said “Bless you, Padfoot.” James handed the glass to Remus and waited until the black-haired man had finished blowing his nose before handing the other glass over. “I am sorry you caught this, you know.”


            “James?” called a woman's beautiful voice and moments later Lilly appeared in the doorway, half visible to the crew hidden by the bed's hangings. “Peter and I have been waiting for you in the common room for five minutes now.” She spotted the lads in bed and headed over to them. “Oh… you poor babies.” She hopped onto the bed at once and snuggled up next to Remus, feeling his forehead with the back of her hand. “Can I get you anything?”


            Remus shook his head no, but Sirius, as he so frequently did, grinned broadly, despite a running nose this time. “A kiss would be dice.”


            Lilly and James both laughed, and she leaned over to give Remus one first, but he held his hand up. “You'll catch this too,” he explained.


            Little giggled, rubbing Remus' arm. “Sweetie, with all this times I kissed James when he had this cold last week, believe me, I won't get sick now.” She gave him a soft, soothing, motherly kiss on the cheek. Then she leaned over Remus and gave Sirius the same.


            Pulling a handkerchief out of her pocket, she rubbed at Sirius' nose. “Blow,” she instructed. “Carried around a dozen of these last week when James kept sniffling, didn't I James?” The young man nodded, a bit of a flush in his cheeks. Without looking back at James, she answered, “See?” and tucked the relatively fresh handkerchief into Sirius' hand. “You all right, Remus?”


            Nodding, Remus reached out and returned the pat on her arm. “We'll be all right. Thanks.”


            “Yeah, we'll take care of each other,” Sirius snuffled, hugged Remus to him roughly with a devilish grin as Remus managed a shy smile.


            Satisfied, Lilly smiled too and rose, tapping her wand against the covers which warmed delightfully against their bodies. She then tapped the pillows which plumped and relaxed, firm with just the right amount of squishiness. “Stay in bed, get some rest, and drink plenty. We'll come see you after the Quidditch match.”


            Sirius sneezed again as James released the hangings and took Lilly by the arm, finding three 'bless you!'s addressed to him.


            Exceptionally glad for the water, Remus downed his glass immediately, then took a few quick gulps of Sirius' without needing or bothering to ask. “My throat's practically killing me.”


            “Bide, too,” Sirius said roughly, stuffily. “I could really go for sub ice creab.”


            Remus' face lit at the suggestion and he smiled slyly. “I bet Padfoot could manage that. Just a quick trip over to Honeydukes… by way of a certain one-eyed witch…” If there were anyone who could manage that, it would be Sirius.


            But Sirius shook his head. “Dot without… whihHuh-chaff! Heh-cheshh! He rubbed at his nose. “I could't do it without sdeezig and gettig foud out. Besides, the tuddel would be freezig.”


            Remus gently pushed the man's hair from his face. “I could try to—“ he started to get up but his eyes rolled and he fell back down on the bed with a frustrated sigh. “Never mind.” He blinked, the world coming back into view for him.


            Sirius held him still tighter, snuggling against the smaller man, a cool hand on Remus' forehead to keep him awake. “You're stayig right here id by arbs where I cad look after you. Sniff, sniff!


            Closing his eyes, Remus relaxed against Sirius, wrapping his arms around his own middle, grasping Sirius' hands tightly. “Thanks, Luv.” He coughed dryly and Sirius passed over the remaining water and forced him to finish it off.


            With a sigh, Sirius lay back against his pillows. “I feel like such ad idvalid.” He glanced towards the window as a loud cheer rose as if from nowhere, signaling one or the other teams' appearance on the Quidditch field. It was Slytherin vs. Ravenclaw and had the makings of a good game for those who weren't particularly fond of the snake-lovers. “Cad't eved get out of bed to watch the gabe.”


            Remus coughed harshly. “Could you get out of bed to get me some more water?”


            Shivering and looking apprehensive, Sirius did not seem to want to. He did, however, pull out his wand and clear his throat. “Widgardiub levioso!” he stated as plainly as possible, but apparently not clearly enough. Not only did the water pitcher shatter and spray water all over the window pane but Sirius' wand began to smoke out the end. Remus pulled back in surprise and Sirius yelped, dropping the smoking wand with a laugh.


            “Looks like we'll be venturing downstairs after all,” Remus said, trying his very best not to burst out with laughter. “Why does ours have to be the furthest from the kitchens?” He slid out from beneath the covers and stood up, feeling a bit wobbly, but Sirius grabbed him around the waist securely.


            Still dressed in their flannel pajamas, they snuck out of the tower into the rest of the virtually empty castle. They supposed at least a few people had chosen not to go out to see the Quidditch, but there was little chance of running into them by mistake with the Marauder's Map clamped tightly in Remus' hand. Every month, transformed and disguised, they had the castle to themselves in the dead of night and it now felt rather exciting to have the run of the place in the middle of the day.


            Leaning on Sirius for support, as he came dangerously close to fainting several times, Remus led the sniffling lad through the hallways and passages to the kitchen. It was Sirius who tickled the pear to gain them access and Remus who shut the painting behind them. The house elves were surprised to see them, but lavished them with cakes and tea and ice cream to their hearts' content, all the while chatting about how much they get cleaned and tended to every time there was a Quidditch game. The house elves, who regularly bumped into Remus every time he had a lie-in the day after his transformation, and who often gave the marauders midnight snacks, were more than happy to take some of the snacks and drinks up to their dormitory room for them.


            So they left with a giant ice cream pop apiece to sooth their throats until they reached the dormitory. This time the journey would be harder as they snuck into an alcove and consulted the Marauder's Map. It showed Filch patrolling the stairwells, or perhaps he was getting around to fixing all the loose stairs and railing sections, and his cat was near the stairs on the second floor. Mrs. Norris had just recently had kittens and was feeling not only overly-protective but rather mean spirited if anyone got too near her. Mrs. Norris had never been too fond of Peter, Sirius or Remus, perhaps sensing the animals within them. Or perhaps she still remembered the time Sirius as a dog and Remus as a wolf had chased her up a tree and held her there for an hour while James smuggled Sirius' motorbike out of the tool shed and into the castle. Either way, it was always best to avoid her whenever possible.


            To make matters worse, Sirius had left his wand, probably still sputtering from the badly done spell, up in the dormitory room along with his handkerchief, which he was in desperate need of. His nose was choosing now to be most cooperative, as they crept quietly up the first stair case and inched along the second floor passage to the short cut secret circular stairway which would allow them to bypass most of the stairs Filch was tending to. Sirius' sneezes were loud and harsh, and echoed dangerously in the empty hallways, despite his sneezing into the crook of his arm to quieten them as best he could. Several times he was forced to pinch his nose shut or have Remus do so for him, lest they be heard. They made their way up the staircase slowly, Sirius still supporting Remus, Remus lighting the way with his wand. Once out, they were forced to take the regular stairs, which changed for the worse three times on them. As they came upon their floor, they looked up to see Filch standing just there, looking down on them.


            “And what do you think you're up to?” he sneered, narrowing his eyes at Remus' wand and the parchment Remus was hastily tucking under his pajama top. “And what's that?”


            Dothig,” Sirius replied, acting as if the job of supporting Remus were very difficult.


            “We were just heading back to our dormitory. Not feeling well and all.” He forced a cough and Sirius a wet sniffle.


            “All right,” he snapped, still looking suspicious. “But if I find anything amiss downstairs, I'll have two strong suspects.” He let them pass, and the boys hurried by.


            Sirius sneezed not far from Filch, and moaned lightly as he was forced to wipe his nose on his cuff roughly. His nose was running badly, and Remus had to admit his own cold and the draftiness of the hallway were both getting to his nose the same way. Both were relieved when at last they reached the portrait of the Fat Lady, who was busy doing a needlepoint of a gold griffin. “Bobbycock,” Sirius panted as they approached.


            She laughed at the sight of them. “Excuse me?”


            “Poppycock,” Remus stated more clearly, though in the same exhausted sort of tone. They were admitted and headed straight for their room, finding a small feast awaiting them. The glass from the last water pitcher had been carefully removed, and in its place were two identical pitchers. By their bed there were bottles of orange juice and pumpkin juice, a plate full of fruits and scones, a few pints of no-melt ice cream, several containers of soup with special warmers on them and accompanied by a dozen sandwiches, and beside that was a large pot of tea and two mugs.


            Sirius looked wide-eyed at it as he recovered his handkerchief and cleared his nose sufficiently. Remus nodded his amazement as he fell onto the bed, thankful to be back. “We'll have to pick up something nice for them next time we're in Hogsmede. Maybe matching hats or belts to go around their pillowcases.” They'd bought a few dozen pairs of socks once, only to find every house elf in the kitchen strutting around with a single sock pulled firmly over one ear. Warm, perhaps, but not very stylish.


            They wasted no time in taking some tea under the covers, and cuddled in the warmth of the blankets and hot steam. Every few minutes they heard an uproar from the crowd outside, even though the pitch wasn't visible from their tower window. The lads nursed their mugs of tea as they discussed which team might be slaughtering the other and mused about how long the game might go on. Their conclusion was that it would take at least all afternoon.


            “I'm exhausted,” Remus yawned, finishing off what was probably his tenth ice cream pop. “But my throat feels loads better.”


            “Bide, too,” croaked Sirius, putting his teacup, empty, aside with a brief glance at the soggy mess of tea leaves. “Looks like I'b goig to have ad udexpected widfall sood.” He yawned a yawn that bested Remus'. “But I thig this bedridded thig coudts that out. I could use a dab.”


            Nearly spitting out a mouthful of tea, Remus laughed, “You sound terrible! A dab?” He ran a wrist over his mouth and put the tea to the side. “I can think of a number of things more fun to do in bed with you than simply nap.” He stifled another yawn as his nose tickled. “Yih-Shoo… Ihhchoo! He rubbed his nose gently with a handkerchief Sirius had ready for him. With both hands free, Remus used one to brush Sirius' hair from his face again, and the other to reach beneath the covers and seize Sirius' crotch. “Can you think of any?”


            Sirius coughed and sniffed but perked up quite quickly. “I could thidk of at least ode… but we always do it id bed…”


            Remus raised an eyebrow. “Or in the showers… or the shack… or the tunnels… or the tool shed… or—“


            “The poidt beig, we've got this blace all to ourselves. I wadt you out id the oben, to study you in the firelight of the cobben roob, to take you uder that table you always study at, to rub you out id the biddle of dadger.” Sirius' voice was tired, but certainly had a solid air of desperate need and curiosity.


            Remus smiled, clutching the comforter. “Blow your nose, Padfoot. I can't take you seriously when you sound like that.” He rubbed hard at the man's cock through his pajamas. “But I hear what you're saying. I'll get the comforter if you bring a few handkerchiefs and some water.”


            Quickly, they gathered themselves up and settled in the common room. The fire was dancing brightly, welcoming them as they settled into an arm chair in front of it. Sirius sat regularly in the seat, and Remus sat on his lap, facing him, legs spread. They rubbed each other's cocks briefly, then pulled out their wands and rubbed each other's shafts in gentle foreplay.


            Remus pulled Sirius' wand from his hand, rubbing seductively, slowly at first, then harder and faster until it made a soft, tired bang and blue sparks flew from the tip, showering them both. They kissed, the sparks disappearing as they touched skin, hair with soft hissing sounds. Sirius rubbed at Remus' wand, causing it to gurgle and spill a flood of bubbles which circled them and the chair, pulling them together in another passionate kiss.


            Sirius sniffled, pulling out of the kiss prematurely, but Remus held him close, comforting the sick pup, kissing his forehead, his cheek, his ear. Casting their wands aside, Remus fell backwards, pulling Sirius with him out of the chair and onto the comforter on the floor. He was a wolf, from the very blood in his veins, and pulled with his teeth until the man's pajama bottoms had dropped enough. But he was shivering as his own top and bottom were removed for him.


            “Are you cold?” Sirius whispered, taking the young man in his arms, feeling the young man's forehead which was much warmer than he had before felt it. “I'll warb you, Rebus. I'll take care of you.” He rubbed Remus' arms, then his back, then his cock, then his gentle, inviting backside. “Leave it to be.”


            And with that, Remus flipped onto his stomach, drawing his arms and the blanket beneath him to keep warm. Sirius assumed the position behind, on his knees, rocking with his cock rubbing between Remus' cheeks alluringly. Only seconds in, Sirius found he needed to sneeze again. Heh-Cheshoo! He managed to only contain the last bit, into his arm. “Oh, sniff, sniff! Sorry, Luv.”


            S'all right,” Remus replied, feeling faint, drowsy, as if one good fuck might finish him off entirely. He pushed a handkerchief Sirius' way and just in time, as the dark haired man sneezed again.


            Heh-Choo! Hih-Chishh! His nose was given a strong blow before he continued. And continuing was what Sirius did best. Skillfully, he penetrated, causing no pain as he plunged in and pulled out slowly but firmly. Once… twice… ten times… and he lost count with a growl as he lost himself within his lover. He reached one hand down, behind his own rear, between the man's legs, and gently stroked the man's balls. “Rebus,” he snuffled, barely able to breathe.


            All at once, Remus shivered, from the firm arousing touch or the drafty room or something else entirely. But the shiver passed through him, making him cold despite his rider, and making his nose tingle. The tingle was strong and as he flaired his nostrils to quiet it, a tickle appeared in its place. “Ehhh” he was going to sneeze while Sirius was in him. He was going to sneeze and didn't want to. He tried to pull himself up, to balance on one arm and rub his nose with the other. But his whole body was rocking, and his crotch burned with excitement that escalated as he was inches from the ground and Sirius' hand found his cock. “No…” he whimpered, trying to explain. But the sneeze was upon him. “ehh-ahshuhh! Ehhh-Chuhhh! He sneezed before he could stop himself.


            “Ah!” Sirius yelped, clamping hold of Remus' privates quite firmly. “Bloody Hell!” he exclaimed, pulling out and staying there a moment.


            Wha?” the brown haired man rubbed at his nose. “I'm sorry but I really had to sneeze. I'm sorry if it hurt—“


            “That was fuckig fadtastic, Luv!” He bent down and kissed the man's nose, then his lips. Locking, massaging, kissing so strongly that he alleviated any doubt. “Do it agaid for be?”


            Bewildered, Remus blinked. “What, the sneezes?” Was he mad?


            Sirius nodded hungrily. “You shook and tighted id all the right ways. You bushed and bulled and oohh, blease? Sdeeze for be, Baby. Sdeeze add I'll warb you all over.”


            Laughing outwardly at the absurdity of the begging, Remus replied, “Look, even if I wanted to, I can't just make myself sneeze. And frankly this cold hasn't made me as sneezey as you.”


            “That's no excuse,” said Sirius, sliding in with pleasure, supported by Remus' smaller but strong and sturdy frame. He reached up and rubbed at the man's nose in what felt like a rather affectionate way, despite what he was really trying to do.


            And it worked. Remus blinked, then drew a sharp breath. Sirius prepared with excitement, tickling the man's privates at the same time as he “ehh-Ihhshh! Ihh-Chishh!


            “Oh!” Sirius clung on, digging his fingernails into the man's back. “Oh bless you.” He forced himself to stay in control and slow, and he pulled out completely. He fell over onto his back, finding his face delightfully close to Remus' crotch. As he gave himself a rest, he wrapped his mouth around his mate's cock. One hand flicked a finger over one of the man's nipples.


            Remus tensed, grinning in pure pleasure. “Padfoot,” he moaned loudly, enjoying their privacy and his ability to moan as loudly as he liked for a change. He felt sniffley and tired, but enjoyed it all to much to stop for just that. “Padfoot?” he called again. “I think I feel another sneeze coming on.”


            Sirius snapped into position, riding Remus roughly again as a master does his bitch. But it was Remus who held the control, as he flexed and relaxed seductively and breathed deeply to draw out his sneeze. Then, finally, it took him. “ehhh.. ihh-hehEhhChahh! ehhIhhshh! Chishh!


            Siriys was seething with pleasure. Rubbing his hand up and down Remus' cock like lightning, about to release both into ecstasy with one more… “Ode bore, Boody,” he whispered, nearly unable to speak and certainly not caring about his congestion.


            And Moony, full to bursting for a different reason this time, managed a last one. “ehh-IHH-Katchah!” Sirius came, and brought Remus along for the ride, bucking and rocking, throbbing and rubbing, until they were both lying spread eagle and exhausted on the comforter in the middle of the common room.


            “Merlin's beard!” gasped Sirius, cleaning off Remus, then himself with a handkerchief. Remus nodded in complete and utter agreement. He coughed harshly, shaking on his back.


            Sirius helped him sit up and finish a glass of water, his hand on Remus back, patting gently. When Remus had done, he whispered with a huge grin on his face, “What was that?”


            But what it was exactly, they never got a chance to discuss for at that moment, voices could be heard. Many footsteps, loud conversations, and cheers sounded up the stairs to the tower. In mere seconds, the crowd would burst through the portrait into the common room and upon them both. From the sound of it, not only was the game over, but Slytherin had lost, which meant a party would commence in the common room very shortly.


            “Quick!” Remus exclaimed, though his eyes were glassy and he looked like he might very well faint if he tried standing just then. Without stopping to think Sirius threw everything onto the comforter and lifted it all, including Remus, into his arm. He made for their dormitory, wheezing and restraining coughs, with his pants around his ankles. Only when the door to their room was closed behind and the hangings around his bed were drawn did he move to pull his pants up.


            Seconds later, the door to their room was open and the familiar sound of James' steps came towards them, steady and paced, almost like the sound of hooves. When James Potter cleared his throat and pulled back the hangings, he found the two tucked under the comforter, looking flushed and sick, but smiling. Sirius held the smaller boy in his arms protectively, one bare arm poking out from behind the man and over the comforter on top.


            “Ravenclaw beat Slytherin 250 to 100. It was beautiful. The Slytherins were scoring so much at the end that they nearly forgot about the snitch all together. A fantastic game. So… how've you lads been?” He raised both eyebrows in inquiry, trying to look innocent and not call attention to the load of goodies adorning the beside table.


            Oh, you know,” Remus said, shrugging. Sirius gave a dismissive wave. “Just lying around, feeling sick. Stuck in bed and all that.”


            Sirius nodded in agreement and gave a strong, wet “hih-Chashh!” for good measure. Remus passed a handkerchief to him for it.


            James raised a single eyebrow this time, looking suspicious. “Well, you both do look ill and flushed with fever. But as to your staying in bed…” And he pulled from beneath his robes two wands. One was feebly shooting red sparks and the other was lazily spilling out bubbles.


            Sirius and Remus recovered their wands very quickly and tucked them away, their faces now flushed with embarrassment as much as fever and physical exertion. Remus sneezed “Ihhchiishh!” and Sirius nodded a thank you to James for their wands.


            “Nobody saw, not even Peter or Lilly. Not that they… well, you know.” He reached over and felt both their foreheads, then pulled the blankets up further. “Now get some sleep, Merlin knows you must need it by now. And just give us a call if you need anything at all. I'll bring a light lunch in a little later, all right?”


            Remus smiled weakly but gratefully. “Thanks, Prongs.”


            Sirius tightened his hug around Remus and nodded again. “Yeah, thags. Add I'b glad those Slytherids lost. I would have liked to have seed the look od Sdabe's face…” Not to mention that it meant increased chances of Gryffindor winning the house cup for another year running. But with James on the team, it was nearly a sure bet already.


            He grinned. “Me too. And believe me, he and Malfoy were stomping mad. Nearly pushed someone off the bleachers as they made to leave as soon as the match ended.” He gave them both a 'now get some sleep' look and started to draw the curtains closed when he paused. “And get some clothes on. I don't want to think of you two starkers under there.” With a laugh, he drew the hangings closed to give them sufficient privacy and quiet from the party which would be a long and boisterous one.


            When they heard the door close behind James, they both sighed and relaxed with relief. “Knows a little too much, doesn't he?” Remus asked, reaching over for a glass of water.


            Sirius grinned. “Yeah, but I'll eat by History of Bagic hobework if he add Lilly haved't at least fooled around out there late at dight.” He shuffled around on the bed, gathering their clothes. Pulling the comforter off, he gave Remus a soft kiss on his privates before helping the man to dress. Then he pulled his own pajamas back on and snuggled back beneath the comforter with Remus. Remus was trying hard not to drift off to sleep already, and managed to lie his head and hand on the man's chest before passing out completely. It took Sirius slightly longer, but he drifted off quickly, too, his arms both wrapped around Remus' middle.