Title: Tell Me What You Want
Fandom: Star Wars
been on suppressants all his life, because sexual urges are just a distraction
for stormtroopers. Now that he's off them, he's discovering all kinds of new things,
including that he really likes it when Poe sneezes.
Notes: Happy birthday, cowboyguy!
Tell Me What You Want
Tell me what you want. That’s what Poe had said to him last night just moments before his orgasm had filled Finn. Finn had lain there on Poe’s bunk, head on the pillow, ankles on Poe’s shoulders, feeling his own cock soften. Though he had been just on the verge a moment before, he had suddenly felt that rush of pleasure fade away. In its place had been a great big ball of worry and uneasiness forming in his chest.
Poe had collapsed beside him, panting. He had reached for Finn, and Finn and rolled onto his side, not wanting Poe to see what had become of his erection. “What?”
“Nothing,” Finn had whispered, eyes filling with tears. “Tired, I guess. Sorry. Just hold me?”
Poe’s arms had wrapped around him and held him tight. And Poe had drifted off to sleep almost at once. But the worry kept Finn up all night.
And it was still there this morning. Finn stabbed a lump in his breakfast porridge, not remotely hungry. Tell me what you want. Stab. Tell me what you want. Stab-stab. Tell me what you want. STAB. Finn’s bowl overturned, the beige mush spilling onto the table and seats and breakfast trays around him.
“What are you doing?” someone shrieked, jumping back.
“Sorry,” Finn muttered, quickly grabbing a fistful of napkins and trying to clean up his mess. But the motion just reminded him more of his problem. It reminded him of Poe knowing exactly what he liked, going after it, and moaning with pleasure as he got it. It reminded him of wiping the result of Poe’s pleasure off the sheets. It reminded him of everything that was so easy for Poe and so difficult for Finn.
Finn grabbed their jacket and headed out of the dining hall before he could do any more damage. He didn’t want to be alone with his thoughts, but he had little choice. Poe was off on patrol with the other pilots, but his words just wouldn’t stop echoing through Finn’s head.
Tell me what you want. Tell me what you want. Tell me what you want. The problem was, Finn didn’t know what he wanted. He didn’t even have a clue. He didn’t even know enough to make something up for a convincing lie.
He hadn’t known that those injections in his arm the First Order had administered every month to keep him healthy had also suppressed his natural urges. He hadn’t known that he could even feel attracted to somebody. He hadn’t known anything was missing until he was suddenly there, and hadn’t known anything about how his body was reacting. Luckily, Poe had been an excellent, patient teacher.
And a giving one, at that. Finn considered it amazingly lucky that he’d discovered he was attracted to Poe. He’d learned how good it felt to have Poe touch him and to have Poe thrust into him. He’d found out he loved kissing Poe, feeling that stubble scratch his chin and cheek so he would have a reminder of the sensation for hours afterward.
The problem was, everything he knew about his sexuality came from being presented with it. He had no idea what he wanted apart from what he’d already experienced. He didn’t know what was possible or what else there was that he could want. No matter how many times Poe demanded to know his desires, Finn was never going to have an answer for him, was never going to be able to tell him what he wanted to know.
Back at Poe’s room, Finn eyed the bed with suspicion. He didn’t even know how to occupy this space without Poe here. Poe made everything so easy and feel so natural. Being on his own, he felt as lost and awkward and confused as he had after he’d watched that stolen TIE fighter sink into the sand. Poe wanted someone who was adventurous and decisive, someone who knew what he wanted. That wasn’t Finn. It would never be Finn. And the mere idea of disappointing Poe was crushing.
He should go. Finn grabbed for a bag, planning to stuff his few items of clothing into it and head back to the quarters he’d been assigned. When it came down to it, running was really the only thing he was good at anyway.
But as soon as he had the bag in hand, he heard the door slide open and closed behind him. Startled, Finn dropped the bag and spun around.
Poe was back way too early. He wasn’t supposed to be back until just before dinnertime.
Finn rubbed the back of his neck. “Hey? Um, what…”
“There’s this bad bug going around the hanger. Think it finally caught me.”
“Caught you?” Though somewhat certain Poe wasn’t talking about insects, Finn didn’t otherwise understand.
“Yeah.” Poe coughed. “I know you thought I was invulnerable, but unfortunately that’s not the case.” He scrubbed a hand up across his face and then rubbed his pam at his nose. “I’ve been coughing and sneezing all morning. Tried to hide it as long as I could, believe me, but my sneeze isn’t exactly subtle. So they grounded me.”
It all finally clicked into place. Poe was sick. With the injections and vitamins Stormtroopers received, it wasn’t often one caught cold. But Finn had been sick a couple times in his life, and it wasn’t fun. Poor Poe. Being sick was bad enough, but sick and grounded must be miserable for him. Finn stepped aside. “You should sit down. Or, better yet, get straight into bed.” First thing first: Poe needed rest.
With a laugh, Poe answered, “Yes, sir!” Poe wore a tired smile as he kicked off his boots and stripped off his uniform. He coughed a fair bit, as if the action of moving around was making him worse already. When he collapsed onto his bunk, he reached for the handkerchief under his pillow before he reached for his covers. He hacked into it a few times then blew his nose in the longest, gurgling blow Finn had ever heard. Then Poe leaned his head against the wall and closed his eyes. “You should probably go before you catch this cold from me.”
“Right,” Finn agreed. He’d been meaning to leave before Poe showed up anyway. Maybe by the time Poe recovered, he might have forgotten about what had happened last night. Maybe he would never again utter those words: Tell me what you want. Maybe they could go back to being whatever they were. Or maybe what they were would be over. And, either way, Finn really should leave. He grabbed his bag again and threw in whatever clothing he saw lying about that was his.
Finn turned, thinking Poe might be about to make a comment. He wasn’t sure he wanted to hear anything more.
But Poe’s face had gone slack, eyes unfocused, nose twitching. Nose twitching. Finn decided on the spot that he liked this look on Poe. The man had been tortured on the Finalizer; obviously Finn had seen him look vulnerable before, but this was different somehow. The way his eyebrows knit together. The way his eyelids dropped a little at a time. The way the corners of his mouth turned down. It was hot.
Finn’s own brow furrowed in confusion. Was someone supposed to look this unbelievably hot when about to sneeze? Or was it just that his pilot couldn’t possibly not look hot no matter what he was doing?
“Uhh-huhhhh… hahh h-h-haveta-uhhhhhh sn-sn-snuhhhh uhhh-HUJSHFffff!” Poe snapped forward, sneezing into his handkerchief.
A rush of arousal like nothing Finn had ever before experienced came over him. His feet, which had before been so eager to direct him right out of the room now felt frozen to the spot. He couldn’t breathe, couldn’t move, couldn’t even tell if his heart still beat.
And then it happened again.
Poe’s free hand flexed and closed around bedsheets. He held tightly as his body stiffened, swayed, and snapped forward again. “Huhhh-IHPTShffffffffff!”
Finn bit his tongue to keep from crying out in pleasure. The urges flowing through him were strong, undeniable. His feet shuffled forward instinctively. Instead of leaving, he sat down on the bed alongside Poe. He reached down and yanked the covers up. Last night, he hadn’t wanted Poe to see his cock’s reaction. Now that it was having this opposite reaction, he wasn’t sure he wanted it seen this time, either. But he knew he wanted to stay here and stay close.
“Sniff! Hey there sniff sniff,” Poe said, sniffling, wiping his nose with a corner of the handkerchief. “This is unexpected. But nice. Sniff! You sure about this, though? I’m feeling kind of sniffly right now.”
Unable to speak, Finn’s head bobbed up and down automatically. His breath was ragged, unsteady, but the more he tried to control it, the worse it became. His heartbeat was back, and it was racing now to the rhythm of the words Poe had uttered the night before: tell me what you want. Tell me what you want. Tell me what you want.
He wanted Poe. He wanted Poe to sneeze again. Right here. Right in front of him. So close to him. So close.
Poe moved close, right up against Finn’s side. He tugged the covers up a little more. “I could use some warmth, honestly.” A shiver ran through him. “Huhh! I’ve got huhh another sn-sneeze c-c-coming… huh-hehhh…”
Warmth was no problem; Finn felt like he was on fire. He could feel Poe’s body jerk beside him with each gasp. And when Poe raised the handkerchief, preparing to catch the sneeze he felt, Finn thought for a second he might explode. Instead, he watched Poe’s eyes close and mouth drop open wider and nostrils widen. And then, just as the man was about to sneeze, Finn reached out and pushed Poe’s hand down hard. The action wasn’t planned. It wasn’t something he could even explain to himself. Seeing Poe sneeze wasn’t something he even knew he wanted until it was happening.
“H’JIHTSHOOO! Urgh… hey!” He pulled his hand free and wiped his handkerchief at his nose. “What was that for? Sniff! I told you I had to sneeze.”
Finn kissed him. Hands on cheeks, turning Poe’s head to the side, lips pressing hard and hungry, heavy exhalations out of the nose from one and stuffy ones from the other. Poe coughed against Finn’s mouth, and Finn, startled, pulled back, dropped his hands. “And what cough! Cough! was that for?”
Shaking his head, Finn wasn’t sure how to answer. He wasn’t sure himself. He wanted to laugh at the silliness and cry with confusion at the same time, but even more than that he wanted to feel that surge of pleasure inside him when Poe sneezed. Seeing the man’s nose twitching like this was unbearably delicious.
“Huhh huh h-h-h-hold-d on huhhh huhhhhh I think I...”
Finn wrapped his arms around Poe’s middle, obeying his pilot’s order: holding on. He clung tightly, his body out of his control.
“uhhhh…” Poe’s body rocked forward, and his eye, almost closed by then, snapped open wide as his thigh pressed into Finn’s crotch. He didn’t have a chance to ask what that was for, and maybe he didn’t need to ask that time. Because his expression softened, and then he tossed his handkerchief over the side of the bed, onto the floor. He buried his face in Finn’s shoulder, breathing out hot, desperate breaths and gasping in quick, shallow ones. “huhh huhhh uhhhhhh… here it hehhhh ehhhhh huhhhh c-c-comes huhhhh HUHTCHhhhhh!”
Despite biting his tongue, Finn still gave a guttural moan from the back of his throat and ground himself against Poe’s thigh. “This,” he gasped close to Poe’s ear, speaking into the man’s hair, still holding tight. “This is what I want.”
“Sniff!” Poe lifted his head and looked at the man, apparently studying Finn’s expression closely.
“You asked me… last night,” Finn tried to explain, but he didn’t have the words. He wasn’t sure he was making any sense. “You asked me to tell you what I want. I… this. I want this.”
“This…” Poe repeated softly, “this is something I’m happy to do for you.” Then he plunged his hand under the covers.
Finn felt Poe’s fingers curl around his cock and he couldn’t repress a short gasp at both the sensation and how quickly Poe had acted. There had been no hesitation, no questions asked, just instant pleasure… and then more pleasure. “Ehhhhh! Finn… I feel so sneezy.” Poe whispered into his ear as Finn hooked his leg around Poe’s hip, pulling him closer. Poe’s strokes quickened. “All morning, I was huhhh sitting in the cockpit ehh ehh-hehh sniff sniff rubbing my uhh my nose to keep ‘em back so nobody would know I’d come down sick. But now…” He scrubbed two fingers under his nose. The just barely audible squelch of wetness there almost made Finn lose it. “I don’t think I could stop ‘em if I tried.”
“Don’t try,” Finn pleaded, mouthing the words, barely able to put his voice behind them. He was shaking, rocking, thrusting into Poe’s hand. And all the while, his eyes were fixed on Poe’s face, Poe’s nose, expectant and eager. “Please, Poe. Sneeze again for me.”
“Yes!” Finn begged. So close. He watched Poe’s face closely for any sign a sneeze might be coming on; he didn’t want to miss any part of it. And when he saw Poe’s nostrils widen and heart his pilot take a shaky, slow breath in, Finn knew he was done for.
“uhhh huhh-ehhhhhh… Ehhhhh R-r-reh-ehh-r-ready, F-Finn?”
Finn couldn’t respond. His body was racing ahead of him, ahead of the sneeze. By the time Poe sneezed again, Finn’s orgasm was already upon him. But Finn kept his eyes open, savoring the glorious image before him.
“heh yehhh-H’JTSCHOOO! HEHD’SHOO! Sniff! Sniff! SNIIIFFF!” Poe leaned forward and nuzzled his nose into Finn’s shirt sleeve in lieu of a handkerchief. He pulled his hand out from Finn’s pants, wiping it off on Finn’s shirt as well. Then he proceeded to pull the shirt right off Finn, ball it up, and toss it over the edge of the bed. “Just let me know when you want more,” said Poe, curling up under the covers, his head in Finn’s slightly damp lap, his eyes closed. He had never before looked so peaceful. “I’ve got plenty where those came from.”
Tell me what you want. Finn rubbed his hand up and down Poe’s back. He felt the rhythm of his petting and their breathing and Poe’s occasional sniffles and coughs and how natural it all was. This was what he wanted, all he could ever think to want. He lifted his other hand and hesitated a moment. Then he rubbed a finger under Poe’s nose. It was just a touch wet, just a little hint that it was full of cold, but that was enough to get Finn’s heart racing again. Eyes still closed, Poe’s face lit with a smile so genuine Finn felt the warmth rush through him again. Poe tilted his head up and kissed Finn’s fingers with a feather light appreciation.
“Tell me what you want,” Finn said with that same lightness.
Still smiling, Poe nuzzled his face against Finn’s palm. “uhhh…” His breath was still so light against Finn’s skin. “H’UHTCHHHHHH HUKSHHHHH!” He sneezed, Finn’s hand instinctively cupping his nose and mouth to cover for him. “Sniff! This,” he said, resting his head back in Finn’s lap and draping an arm over Finn’s thighs.
Finn didn’t understand how Poe could possibly be comfortable like this, but he didn’t dare move. He kept rubbing his hand up and down Poe’s back long after his pilot had fallen asleep.