TITLE: Sneezing in the Shower

PROMPT: Dean sneezes a bunch in the shower and right after he gets out. Can be a regular occurrence or because he’s got a cold or something. If he catches a flurry of post-shower sneezes in a towel that would be THE best.

NOTES: Written for my 2018 April meme

Sneezing in the Shower

His hitching breath made him frown; it was starting already. Usually he got most of the way through a shower before that itch found its way deep into his nose. But, this shower, it wasn’t taking its time. He was all soaped up and just about to be all sneezy as well.

“Son of a bitch…” he muttered breathily, stepping under the water to wash away the suds, turning to expose various angles to the spray. The sides of his mouth twitched. His nostrils flared. And he drew a long, involuntary breath, holding it for a few seconds before the first sneeze struck. “hhh-EHTchuhhh!”

It wasn’t all that strong. It wasn’t even that urgent or desperate. It was just necessary. Goddamn it, he had to sneeze.

And he hated sneezing in the shower. No matter what he did, it felt like he got sneeze on himself. He couldn’t blow his nose, and wiping his nose with the side of his hand wasn’t like wiping it dry with a bandanna. In fact, there was no dry at all in the shower. Everything was wet. His hands, his face, his runny nose and the space between it and his upper lip. There wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it.

“hhhhh hhh huhhh-EHHttchih!” Sniffling, Dean lifted his face toward the shower head in a useless effort to clean himself. Water pressure in the Bunker wasn’t bad, frankly. He’d been in plenty of motel rooms where the showers were much worse. But his nose was itchy and twitchy, and no amount of warm water rushing down the bridge and over the tip soothed it.

Forming a V with his thumb and forefinger, he fit them over his nose and rubbed. If he could drive the worst of the tickles away for just a few minutes, it would be enough to get out of the shower, dry off, and grab some tissues from the box on the counter by the sink. But the itchy, irritated feeling only intensified as he massaged his nostrils. “HETTchhhhh! EHHHChiii! Hhh huhh EHHTchiii!” Swaying forward with each sneeze, Dean reached out with his other hand, pressing his palm against the cool tile wall to steady himself, not wanting to slip and fall. “huhhh huh-hehhhhh…” He could tell the sneeze building up was gonna be a big one. “hhhh hhhhh herrrEHTCHOO!”

By all rights, that last one really should have cleared him out. His whole body had shaken from it. But the instant of relief he’d felt as the sneeze had passed through him was gone a second later, replaced with the same itchiness and the same need to sneeze. “hehh-CHISHooo! Hetchhhh!” Desperate to regain control, he rapidly scrubbed his palm up and down against his nose. And that, it seemed, made the urge back down just a little bit.

The tickle clearly wasn’t done with him yet, but over the years Dean had learned to count even small successes as wins. Dean sighed and rinsed off his face and hands as best he could. Then he shut off the water. The abrupt change in sound was nothing compared to the shot of cold air he felt as he pushed the shower curtain aside.

His poor, twitchy nose didn’t stand a chance. His feet barely made it to the safety of the thick bathmat before his breath caught and his eyes involuntarily shut.

Dripping wet hands and tissues weren’t the best combination. Dean started to lift his arm to his face to catch the impending sneeze in the crook, when his hand brushed against something familiar. Seizing what he was sure was a towel, he grabbed it and pressed it to his face just in time. “hhHmmphhh! hrmmphh! HUHhhhmphh!” This time, there was a measurable amount of relief to the sneezes as he let them out, so he just let himself sneeze and sneeze all he needed to, catching and muffling every one of them in the towel. “hurumphhhh! hshmmphhh!” Eyes shut tight still, he pulled his head back from the thick towel to draw a long, shaky breath of cool air. “uhhhh-Huhhhhhhhhhh…” Then he buried his nose right into the towel again. It was such a comforting feeling to have something so thick and dry finally to sneeze into. “HRMmmphhh! Hummphhh! Hhhmmmphhh-uhhh…”

Dean waited, snuffling softly into the terry cloth. But his nose finally seemed satisfied.

This time when he lifted his head, his eyes fluttered open. He saw Sam standing in front of him wearing an expression of mingling sympathy and guilt.

Keeping hold of the towel with one hand in case he felt the urge to sneeze again, Dean grabbed another towel from the rack on the wall and circled it ‘round his waist. He cleared his throat. “Can’t keep doing this, Sammy. Tomorrow, you’re going to have to go buy new soap. This fancy floral stuff is killin’ me here.”

“Sure,” Sam agreed. “I’ll go put it on the list.” He ducked out of the bathroom so Dean could dry off and get dressed.

But Dean called after him, “Make sure you put it at the top of the list!” He didn’t want to risk a repeat of what had happened last time Sam went to the store.