Title: Five Things that Make a Remus J. Lupin

Author: tarotgal

Fandom: Harry Potter (obviously)

Pairing: Remus/Sirius

Rating: R

Disclaimer: Gods, no, I don't have the rights to anything!

Summary: See the title.

Notes: Written for Weekly Hatching Bunny #122 (General). I had this story in mind when I submitted the bunny, but wrote it just after it was generated. There were lots of ways I thought of going with this. I was going to start out with a recipe. (Add two tablespoons of a sweet tooth... beat 'til creamy...). And I was thinking of titling it similar to the 'Give five signs that identify the werewolf' line from TBGOotP. But what I *really* wanted to do with this was focus on fanon!Remus and explore that in a fun and different sort of way. I hope it worked. Though I think it started to have a little bit of a Breakfast Club feel to it by the end... or maybe I'm just rambling way too long for this section and should just move on to the feedback section.

Feedback: I'd love some



Five Things that Make a Remus J. Lupin



According to his three best friends, Remus had an unhealthy obsession with books. He would sit on his bed, legs crossed, propped up by pillows, reading anything he could get his hands on. He preferred fiction to his text books, but he understood the usefulness of all sorts of books. When he was out of books and the school library was closed, he would borrow what few books his friends had.


Sirius always joked about Remus' intentions when he caught Remus going through his trunk. "If I've told you once I've told you a hundred times, Moony... I keep my porno mags under my mattress." Sirius reached under, producing a handful.


Remus sighed and shook his head. "Wasn't looking for those, as I've told you at least a hundred times."


Sirius sighed. "Right. My books." Sirius dug his own hand into his immense trunk and came up with a paperback adventure story. "Have you read this one?"


Remus didn't make eye contact. He hadn't read it, but he nodded. "Yeah. I'll just go check James' nightstand then. Someone might have brought him something to read that he'll let me borrow."


"You sure?" Sirius asked, eyeing the book. "You've really read this? I just got it last week--"


Remus pushed Sirius back onto the bed with a violent kiss. "I'm sure. I don't feel like reading right now, anyway."


Sirius' eyes widened, but he grinned when Remus reached beneath his robes. Anything he might have said was instantly forgotten.






Remus loved having friends. He'd never been able to play with the very few kids in his neighborhood when he was growing up. His mother had been terrified he'd hurt himself. And he'd always felt different from them anyway. He was magical and he was a werewolf. The former made it hard to blend in with the muggle children and the latter made it difficult to stay around magical children. But, here at Hogwarts, he finally had friends and he couldn't be happier.


The adventures he and his friends had every month were more than he had ever dreamed of, growing up. And though the Prefect in him didn't like it, he had to admit that even the pranks were lots of fun.


More importantly, Remus loved being a friend. He loved being there for them when they needed him. "How're you feeling, Prongs?"


James shrugged and began to shake his head, only to have it snap down. "h'Choo! hehhChoo! hahShoo!"


"Bless you," Remus didn't even care that James had sort of sneezed on him. He just handed James a hanky. "You need to get some rest, okay? Please try."


James nodded automatically and closed his eyes. He clearly wasn't asleep, however, when Remus stood and left James' bedside. Sirius wasn't asleep, either, when Remus crawled into his bed.


"How's Prongs?" Sirius asked. "All better?" Remus shook his head. "Do you want to go spend the night in his bed?" Sirius sat up, looking at Remus concernedly. "You never leave one of us when we're sick."


"James'll be better after some sleep," said Remus. He moved right up against Sirius' side and pulled him close. "Right now, this is where I want to be." His lips seized upon Sirius' earlobe and his knee rubbed into Sirius' crotch. Sirius moaned and muttered a silencing spell that extended over his bed.






Apart from the days following the full moon, Remus was an early riser. He liked waking with the sun warm on his face. He liked yawning and stretching in its glow. Though he loved having his friends around, he liked the peace and quiet that came with early mornings.




Remus stirred, but only to rub his face further into his pillow and pull the covers up to his chin. "Go away," he muttered.


"Fine," said Sirius, a bit brazenly. "Then you're going to miss breakfast, you lazy--"


Sirius was not given a chance to finish. He was pulled right down and under the covers with Remus. "Mmm," he said, as Remus nuzzled into his neck. Sirius thrust upwards, pressing himself against Remus' thigh.


Remus chuckled and, teasingly, rolled off Sirius. He played with Sirius' tie and ran his fingers over Sirius' chest. "Not so lazy now, am I?" he asked, slipping off his robes just at the right time to hide a fierce yawn.


"I take it back," said Sirius. He folded his hands under his head and lay back on the bed . As Remus slid down and ducked his head under Sirius' robes, Sirius' cock twitched and then stood straight up.






Remus' sweet tooth was legendary. He always took three spoonfuls of sugar in his tea an only ate scones with fruit. He never turned down lemon drops or berry twizzles when they were offered to him. Chocolate, however, was easily his favorite. He loved the variety, the intense rush of taste, and the way it melted on his tongue.


No one actually knew how much chocolate Remus had at any given time, because he kept a good bit of it hidden in case of emergencies. And, to Remus, pretty much anything could be considered an emergency. He ate pieces of dark treasures chocolate when studying. He found chocolate frogs to be a perfect companion to scheming. And chocolate of all sorts was good when he needed a bit of comfort or reassurance.


"Chocolate cake for dessert today," Peter announced eagerly, glancing over at the staff table where the dessert tray had just appeared. "Guess we'll have to fight Moony to get a piece."


The others, including Remus, laughed at the joke. But then Remus sighed and shook his head. "Actually, Wormtail, you're welcome to my piece. I'm pretty stuffed after dinner." He looked at the chocolate cake as it appeared, but then climbed off the bench at the Gryffindor table to head out.


Sirius caught up with him at the doorway. "Are you all right?" Sirius asked.


Remus looked confused. "Of course. Why would you ask that?"


Shrugging, "I dunno. I just thought... you leaving chocolate?"


Remus shrugged and smiled coyly. "Bet you can't guess what I'm going to do upstairs while the rest of the Gryffindors are finishing their desserts..."


Eagerly, Sirius reached over and cupped Remus' arse. Then he followed the young man up the stairs to properly take advantage of the privacy. They didn't make it past the second floor before giving into their desires in a broom closet.






Remus was a bibliophilic, an good friend, a morning person, and a chocoholic. But he was also an excellent lover. In bed, he was caring and considerate. He was enthralling and experienced. He was creative and controlling. He was sultry and sexy. And, most noticeably, he was always up for a bit of fun.


Or almost always.


"What do you mean you're not in the mood?" Sirius asked, lying naked on his stomach with his bare arse in the air. "You're always in the mood!"


"Not tonight, Padfoot," Remus said with a sigh. "I..." He trailed off.


Sirius snorted, "You have a headache?"


Quickly, Remus snapped back, "No." Then he calmed and composed himself. "I just..." Remus had absolutely nothing to distract Sirius with this time.


And Sirius finally realized this. He went from lying, propped up by his elbows, to sitting straight up in bed. "You caught James' cold!"


"What?" Remus tried to put on his confused look again, but he wasn't completely successful as Sirius started chuckling. "I haven't!" he insisted.


"Mmm." Sirius dove into Remus' pockets. Remus tried to squirm out of the way and bat Sirius' hands away, but he just couldn't resist the incredibly handsome naked young man. "Ah-ha!" Sirius said, pulling balled-up tissues out of Remus' pocket. Then he reached up and felt Remus' forehead, staring at him closely with his soft grey eyes. "Your throat's all red. And you're pretty warm." He grinned. "And you're not up for sex. Yup. Definitely sick. I should have guessed. You've been acting weird for the last few days. Why didn't you tell me?"


Shrugging, "There's nothing you could have done." He picked up one of the crumpled tissues Sirius had dug out and pressed it to his nose. "ehhh-TChihhh! hehhShhhh! ehhhShihhh! Sniff-sniff! Besides, it's just a cold."


"Nothing I could have...? You berk!" Sirius chuckled and pulled Remus down, tackling and tucking him into bed in one. "I know exactly what I can do. I've had a very good teacher, after all."


"Yeah?" Remus started to blow his nose, then sneezed again. "hihhTChahh! Sniiffff!"


"Yeah. And I'm going to keep you here in bed, nursing you back to health until you're yourself again."