Title: Gift for Pnkelephante 2006
Author: tarotgal
Fandom: Pirates of the Caribbean
Rating: G
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters or their world. This is fanfiction and I'm just playing for fun, not making any money.
Summary: Jack has a cold and a case of indecision
Notes: Written for pnkelephante as a holiday gift. Enjoy!

Gift for Pnkelephante 2006

Jack groaned as he rose from bed. Glad he had the captain's cabin to himself, he took his time that morning. Having slept in his clothes again, there was no need to change. But the state of being unable to put anything more on made him feel cold. And he shivered as he headed up the stairs to the deck of the Black Pearl.

The last treasure hunt had been, to put it plainly, an unmitigated disaster. Instead of sparkly coins and pretty jewels, they'd run into some very ugly gents in the slave trade. And instead of riches beyond their wildest dreams they received several days hauled around as cargo until their brilliant escape. The result, they discovered later, was a particularly nasty cold bug which had been making the rounds through the crew ever since. At any given moment, about a third of the crew was out of commission. And as the crew wasn't all that large to begin with, it left the Pearl pretty much riding the currents without much encouragement or direction.

In fact, they hadn't even had a proper destination in over a week, and the crew, even the ill ones, were becoming restless about it. Jack had promised them something today, and when he got to the deck, he found Cotton at the wheel and Gibbs standing next to him with a sextant and working compass in hand. "So Cap'ain," said Gibbs, smiling at him as Jack ascended the small stairway. "Where to?"

"Well," Jack started, feeling a light wind against his face. It made his nose feel a little cold. He pointed dramatically in one direction. "We could go east, but then we'd wind up in England, and who wants to be there? Conversely…" he swung his other arm out in the opposite direction, so his arms were crossed over his chest. "We could go west but then we'd head straight into land and damage the hull."

Gibbs took a swig from his flask and rolled his eyes. Then he moved his hand in a circular motion as though to speed up Jack's directions. Cotton looked calm but the parrot paced back and forth on Cotton's shoulder.

"We could of course go north."

"Aye," Gibbs said, taking over. "North to where it seems that little slip of treasure map wants us to go to find lost pirate bounty."

"North to certain riches." Jack said. "Or south."

"Aye," Gibbs said again. "South would have us wind up in Tortooga, where we could restock and get a bit of land under our feet while certain members of the crew recover."            

"South to some fun." Jack nodded.

Then the captain gave a smile that made Gibbs nod. "All right. South it is then."

Jack shook his head. "North, of course, would put us only slightly behind schedule. With these winds, we need to be back in time for the spring shipments along the trading routes." There was nothing like a scoring a shipment of government goods to make a pirate's heart beat faster.

"Then north," said Gibbs.

"If we head south, we can just lie low in known waters with no need to rush about." And rushing was almost certainly something his crew would not be able to handle.

"South," said Gibbs decidedly. He yelled down to the men to bring the ship around.

Jack leaned back against the railing and sniffed silently. "But if we go north-"

"Hold steady!" Gibbs called out again. Frustrated, he gripped Jack by the shoulders. "A direction, Jack!"

Jack meant to stare at the man, but his nose tickled fiercely and he lifted his head, pointing it towards the sky with its puffy white clouds. "h-h-h-h'chhfffff!" The sneeze was uncovered with the spray added to the light mist already coming in from the sea. He swiped a hand under his nose and pulled away from Gibbs. "Perhaps-"

"Perhaps south," Gibbs said, eyeing Jack. "Ye're sick, too?"

The captain wasn't going to admit to anything. He strode over to the other side of the deck. His nose was twitching something awful. He cupped his hand to his face. "heh-h-h'Chiffff! Ehh-Shufff!"

"G'bless!" squawked the parrot. Jack waved his free hand, dismissing the sentiment at once, as if the parrot understood the gesture.

"North," Jack said, his voice lightly stuffy. "And we'll have made this journey worth it."

Gibbs nodded with understanding. He turned and called down to everyone. "Steady on the--"

"Of course, if we were to go south, we could reap rewards without the effort."

"Belay that!" Gibbs called back down. "Turn her about and--" Apparently, the crew was getting as frustrated as Gibbs was. The sail turned and the ship lurched. Gibbs scrubbed a hand over his face.

Holding onto the rail, Jack did likewise because his nose was tickling and his head felt fuzzy. Ignoring the sensation, he strode over dramatically and took the wheel.

"Cap'ain?" Gibbs asked hopefully.

Jack grinned, the sun striking the gold teeth. Of course he hadn't made a decision yet, but that was only a matter of time. He sniffed and pulled his compass out. He flipped it open and watched the arrow spin. North, then south, then north again, then south again. It made his head hurt. He wished it- and he- could just pick one.

"North for treasure. South for Tortooga." He felt like the ship was spinning at each statement, as indecisive as he was. "North for riches. South for relaxation." The ship turned one way, then the other, and Jack's head could not keep up. "North… South… hepp!" Jack pressed the back of his hand to his tickly, running nose.

"G'bless!" called Cotton's parrot.

Jack turned, eyes shooting daggers at the bird, then at Cotton, then the bird again. He raised his head, pointing at it to emphasize his statement. "For your information… I did not… hehh-have not… ehhh-" His hand lowered, as did his head. "hehh-Chihhh! ehh'Chehhhh!" He doubled over, eyes squeezed closed, the ship and sky spinning wildly around him. He took the wheel with him as he moved, making the ship lean. The sails lost the wind and the ship gave an unnatural lurch in one direction.

Meaning to correct it, Jack began to turn the wheel, but his nose was not finished. His pressed his hand to his face, the rings cool against his cheeks, making him shiver. "eh'Chiphhhh!" He bent over further. "ehh-YehChiihhh! ehhKChpihhh! hihhhChhhhh!"

He was aware of the sensation of the rough deck against his cheek, and he reached up blindly for the wheel, trying to regain control of his ship. That was when he realized he could not open his eyes. He plunged into darkness.

Jack woke up back in his cabin, alone and again fully clothed. From the motion of the ship, he could tell at once that the ship was docked somewhere. He blinked, looking out the window to see nothing but the darkness of an overcast night sky. There was no way to know where they were but Jack did not care. He had the Pearl and the crew had done what was best for them, whatever that was.

He took out his compass and opened it up. The arrow spun for a brief moment, then stopped to point directly at Jack in his bed. He held it out at arm's length and moved it around, watching the arrow stay fixed upon him. He smiled and tucked the compass back onto his sash. He buried his nose in his sleeve. "ehhhChihhh! Hehh-ehhKishhhh! ehhChhhh!" He rubbed his nose against the fabric of his coat, then he laid his head back down on his pillow. Smacking his lips and sniffing, Jack pulled his hat down over his eyes and allowed himself to fall back to sleep.