Title: Side Effects May Include
Disclaimer: Not mine
Summary: See prompt
Notes: Written for my comment meme 2014. Prompt of awesome: Slash like whoa. Sam has a sneeze kink Dean still doesn't know about. Dean gets this bad head cold and the meds he takes are making him horny. Cue Sam being secretly delighted that Dean asks for some sex but his kind of embarrassed because he keeps sneezing and sniffling the whole time.
Side Effects May Include
“huh… huh…” Sam can tell it’s going to be a big one by the way Dean sways slightly. He rips open the tissue box they haven’t paid for yet and holds it out to his brother. Dean blindly feels around for it in mid-air. “Huhh…” Sam ignores every bit of his body that’s telling him to look at Dean—just look at him, at how miserable and pathetic he looks—and pulls a few tissues out, thrusting them at Dean’s hand. Dean grabs hold and gets them to his face just in time. “huhh-CHUHHH!”
“Bless you,” Sam mutters. “C’mon. Just pick something.” The cold medicine choices at this small country store are miniscule. There are no name brands, just generic crap neither of them have ever heard of. They’d both read backs of packages, trying to figure out what the knock-offs were supposed to be knocking off, but Sam had never really paid attention to what meds he took and Dean wasn’t really in the mood for heavy reading.
“Dean…” Sam’s mouth is dry. He feels like everyone in the store is looking at them. Looking at them, wondering why one of them can’t stop sneezing and why the other has an unmistakable bulge in his jeans. This is more explaining than Sam wants to do. He can’t even explain it to himself, let alone to Dean and a pack of crazy, busy-body townies. “Hurry up and grab something. Anything!”
Dean grabs a box and they make for the counter. The clerk eyes the open tissue box and Dean snuffling into a handful of tissues. “Sorry,” Sam explains with a bashful shrug. “He couldn’t wait.” He pays in cash and drops an extra dollar in the jar by the register that’s supposed to be for some local charity but is probably actually for the clerk-on-duty’s pot habit.
Sam drives. Dean sneezes. And the trip back to the cabin on the winding mountain roads seems twice as long as it should have been. It’s not a bad place to be holed-up for a few weeks. Things with their last job had gotten hot and then Dean had come down with a bad case of sniffles and a cabin out in the woods in the middle of nowhere seemed like a pretty safe bet. There was electricity and running water, even a kitchenette and a small bathroom with a tub. The guy looking to rent it out between vacationers seemed desperate and knocked a few bucks off as well. Everybody won.
Without looking at Dean, Sam can picture Dean rubbing his streaming nose, contemplating blowing it and then deciding not to. His body hums as the images play out in his mind, and he tries to think of something else, but he can’t think of a thing, not with Dean sniffling right next to him like this.
Sam turns down the dirt road that leads to the cabin and gestures to the bag of items from the store. “I want you to take one of those pills as soon as we get in,” Sam tells him. He risks a glance over and instantly regrets it. Dean has his finger under his nose in some cartoony, fruitless attempt to hold off another sneeze. But it is clear on his face that the sneeze is coming regardless. Dean’s jaw hangs open and quivering slightly, his eyes squinting and struggling to not close. But his face is long, slack, tongue almost falling out of his mouth. “hah… hahh-EHPTSHHHHHHH!” He sprays his hand. And the glove compartment. And his lap.
Sam looks away at once, barely keeping the car moving straight on the road instead of crashing it into the nearest tree and then jumping on Dean in the passenger seat. His hands tighten on the steering wheel. His eyes narrow with concentration. And the cabin appears through the trees up ahead.
When they arrive, Dean hops out then bends to look in. “You comin’?”
“Yeah. I just need a minute to grab something. I’ll be right in.”
For just a second, Dean looks hurt and confused. Then he closes the door and heads for the cabin. Sam watches him go and, as soon as Dean is out of sight, Sam sighs.
This is not good. Not good at all. How do you tell your brother, who is suffering from the worst head cold he’s had in years, that you think he’s sexy and want him to sneeze all over you while you make love? The Winchesters didn’t talk about their feelings. Even when Sam and Dean started fucking, they didn’t actually talk about it. They didn’t talk about the kisses or the touches or the fact that they didn’t even bother asking for two beds any more. They didn’t talk about what they were to each other, what they felt. So Sam couldn’t say anything about this.
He leans forward, resting his chin against the steering wheel, closing his eyes. He is screwed. Weeks in a cabin with Dean… that much he can handle. But with a Dean who has the sneeziest of sneezy head colds? Sam might as well just grab a gun from the trunk and shoot himself in the head right now, because he wasn’t going to make it an hour, let alone days. Not when they are stuck in a small cabin together, in a small bed together.
The best thing he can hope for is for this cold medicine to knock Dean out for a few days until this cold makes him a little less sneezy. With a deep breath, Sam gets out of the car.
When he opens the door, he sees something that makes his heart stop—just for a second. “Dean!” He runs over to the kitchen area and grabs a knife from Dean’s hand.
Dean takes a step back, sniffling, rubbing at his nose. “I couldn’t get the pill out.”
“So you took your knife to the blister pack? You could have sliced your hand open.”
“You would have kissed it and made it better… ehhh… huhhh…” Unsteady on his feet, he takes a few steps back and sways with each breath. “huhhh-HIHSchhhhhh!”
It is beautiful. The way the sneeze takes him over, the way it sounds, the way he sniffles afterward like he doesn’t know how damn hot he is. Sam absorbs it all then turns away. His cheeks are red. His body is on fire. But he pops a pill out of the blister pack. He hands it to Dean with a glass of water but without looking him in the eye. “Go lie down.”
Dean nods, sniffling, and only makes it as far as the hallway before sneezing again. “hih… hihIHShh! HEHShuhh!” He coughs. “Sabby? I forgot the Kleedex!”
Of course he had. “I’ll bring them in a second. Hang on!”
Sam puts the knife back in Dean’s bag then stores the medicine in a cabinet so Dean won’t take another one accidentally, forgetting he’d just had one. Sometimes cold medicine makes him a little loopy.
“Sabby! By dose is ruddig!”
Of course it is. “Coming!”
Sam grabs the tissue box and heads for the bedroom. One sneezy Dean plus one small space equals one Sam Winchester driven completely crazy with desire. He’ll just have to make this quick. Shit. He’ll throw Dean the box and pretend to need something back in the kitchen. In and out. Damn it! Why does everything he thinks sound so sexual?
Question withdrawn. Sam swallows hard and tosses the tissue box onto the bed. “There you go, man.”
Dean snuffles and pulls a tissue out of the box. He blows his nose for about a second before his breath catches. He sneezes again, suddenly. “hihh-KUHShhhhh!” Frustrated, he pats the bed. “Keeb be cobady?”
Sam is sure his face must be bright red, but the only light in the room is a dim yellow and maybe Dean won’t notice Sam’s embarrassment. “Sure.” Sam settles down on the bed. The moment he leans back against the headboard, Dean grabs a pillow, sets it in Sam’s lap, and plops his head down on it. Sam concentrates on his breathing, trying to keep it normal, trying to slow it to slow down his racing heart.
Instead, he starts noticing Dean’s breaths. The wheezy ones in, congested ones out. The little sniffles. The gasps. And the sneezes. He pretends he isn’t anticipating them. He tells himself to not grab the tissues for Dean. But Dean is just so miserably sneezy and sniffly and so grateful when Sam strokes his head or helps him get a tissue to his nose in time to catch a big sneeze.
“hehhh-YIHshhhhh!” Sam’s hand trembles slightly as Dean’s fingers brush his and take charge of the tissue Sam is holding up for him. “Oh… snfffffff! Thank you, Sammy.” Dean blows his nose and lowers his hand. Dean’s wrist rests on Sam’s thigh. Dean’s ear is close to Sam’s pounding heart. Dean’s nose is just a few inches of pillow away from Sam’s erection.
“Guess the cold medicine hasn’t kicked in yet.”
Dean gives a grunt of disagreement.
“This is it working?” Dean is still sneezing his head off.
“Yeah. It, ah…” He bunches the tissue in his hand and rubs the inside of Sam’s thigh. Dean sniffs and rubs his cheek into the pillow. “I think it’s making me a little horny.”
Sam laughs. He can’t help it. “What?”
“Yeah, I heard you. I don’t think that’s one of the side effects, Dean.”
“heh…” At least, it wasn’t supposed to be one of the side effects for Dean. And, if the cold medicine worked, it would be just the opposite for Sam. “hehh-KITSHIXttttt!” Only it isn’t working like it’s supposed to. Obviously. Because Dean’s still sneezing. And he’s horny. And so is Sam.
Dean slides his hand up, Sam’s thigh, under the pillow. He feels around for the button and zipper on Sam’s jeans. “Jeez, you’re hard already.” He says, hand squeezing and stroking through Sam’s y-fronts. “And whe… wet… huh… huhh-IHPShuhh!” he lifts his head, and Sam’s got a clear look at his face, contorting with the sneeze that’s on its way, about to happen. “Ihh-ih-ih-ih… IHHKShuhhh!”
He’d be stupid to pass this up. This is his fantasy, right here and willing. More than willing, really: desperate. Begging.
Hurriedly, Sam wriggled out from under Dean and shoved his pants down then off. Dean undressed as well, sniffling the whole time. As Sam pulled off his shirt, Dean cleared the clothes off the bed to give them room, though he pulled a small tube of lube and a couple condoms out first. He pushed the pillow off and was about to do the same for the tissue box when Sam stopped him. “No. You’re going to need that.”
Dean hesitated then nodded. “I… you’re right.” Immediately, he pulled out a tissue. “hihh…” He held the tissue up, inches in front of his face, as if he wanted Sam to get a clear view of his face. His flaring nostrils. His closing eyes. His face as he pitches forward toward the tissue. “HITCHuhhhhh!” He blows his nose and makes a face at the sound or what he’s done to the tissue or both. Defeated, his elbows slide out from under him and he collapses on the bed. “Maybe this was a bad idea.”
Sam’s stomach flips like a coin and he’s not sure if he wants it to land on heads or tails. “Are you feeling okay?”
“No. I’m turned on and I can’t stop sneezing. I don’t want to make you do this with me. What if I sneeze on you?”
Sam’s pretty sure that things would be over quickly if that happened; he’d lose it for sure. Like Dean noticed, he’s already leaking just being around Dean and his sneezes. And since when did they stop and talk about their feelings? They were Winchesters! “Shut up and kiss me.”
“Dude, if I do that, you’ll catch—”
Sam can’t stand it anymore. He pulls Dean close and kisses him. Open mouthed, tongues where tongues are supposed to be, just as if Dean isn’t sick. But he can feel the tip of Dean’s nose brush his as he tilts his head the other direction. He tilts it back the other way, dipping his head forward, and he feels wetness as their noses touch.
And then Dean’s breath is hitching. He tries to pull away. And Sam tries to let him go. But he can’t make his arms move. He can’t keep his lips from pressing. He can’t stop himself from wanting this to play out.
As he feels the spray on his face, Sam grinds himself into Dean’s thigh. His leg hooks around Dean’s, bending and holding Dean closer, trapping him there. And Dean isn’t trying to pull back any more. He’s sniffling with his nose on Sam’s bare shoulder and his hands on Sam’s back.
“Oh God,” he whispers, tensing up. “I think I’m gonna sneeze again already.”
Sam’s about to die. He’s pretty sure he’s going to explode from the heat he feels, and how can Dean not notice how embarrassed he is right now? He’s about to come and Dean doesn’t realize why exactly. But maybe that’s not important. Maybe Sam’s over-thinking things again. Maybe he just has to relax and enjoy this, because it’s going to be over far too quickly if his libido has anything to say about it.
“It’s all right,” Sam tells them both. “Just… do what you have to do.”
Dean looks relieved. He melts into Sam as his body jerks. And Sam holds him close. “Kihshuhh!” They roll. Sam’s on his back with Dean on top of him. On top and looking sneezy again. “eh… eh-HUHSchhhh!”
Sam thrusts into Dean’s thigh and comes. His hand is on Dean’s ass. His arm is around Dean, holding him close. And he can still feel the light spray of the sneeze against his neck and chest.
He kisses Dean before Dean can apologize. Kisses Dean and spreads his legs, bending them at the knees. Dean is fast. Faster than someone with a bad head cold should be, at least. He snaps on the condom and uses half the bottle of lube before sliding carefully in. And when he sneezes again, Sam holds him tight, making sure he stays put. The sneezes are big; Dean’s swaying a little along with his thrusts. “hehh-Shihhhh! EhhKshxxxx!” Sam’s got a tissue for him. And somewhere between blowing his nose and sneezing yet again, he comes. “hehh-HIHShhh!”
Afterward, Sam picks their clothes up off the floor while Dean makes his way through a hundred tissues. Sam covers Dean with the comforter and gathers up the used tissues. “Tomorrow I’ll head back to the store and get you some better medicine.”
Dean shrugs, closes his eyes. “I like this stuff just fine, as long as you don’t mind a few more sneezes.”
“I don’t mind,” Sam says, sitting on the edge of the bed.
“Good. So, when am I supposed to take another pill?”
“Box says every four hours.”