Title: P is for Porn

Rating: R
Fandom: Supernatural
Pairing: Sam/Dean


Sam was used to having Dean’s sneezes signaling that his brother was awake. It had taken two hours for Dean to fall asleep this time, and over those hours and the thirty-eight before it when Dean was sick with a cold, Sam had gotten to know Dean’s sneezes well.  There were the soft, steady stream of sneezes when his nose was terribly ticklish. There was the loud, uncontrollable sneeze that was like a whole bunch of little ones all together. There were the uncovered ones, sprayed freely, when he felt too sick to bother covering his nose. And there were little, stifled ones when he was too tired of sneezing and knew they wouldn’t be too strong.


But it was nice to have some peace and quiet at last. Dean really had been driving him crazy, especially since he refused to take anything for it apart from some Ibuprofen. And he absolutely wasn’t going to take any witchy herbal stuff. That didn’t leave a lot of options, and there were only so many boxes of tissues he could buy.


So he settled down at the cheap little table in the motel room he’d found for them, plugged his laptop in, and booted it up. He typed some words into the search engine and up came a whole list of sites and articles. Choosing one at random, he brought up a piece about techniques for avoiding and dealing with the common cold. At the top of the page was a photo of someone in mid-sneeze. Sam stared at it longingly for a second then quickly scrolled down to the text. It was hard enough listening and watching to Dean sneeze; he didn’t need to be bombarded with it even when Dean was asleep. No, he was trying to find a remedy.


Hand washing. Covering noses. Staying hydrated. Lots of Vitamin C. All boring stuff that wouldn’t help at this point. It moved on to hot showers to loosen congestion, cold compresses to lower temperatures, menthol to ease breathing. That was a little more useful.


Sam tried another article. It suggested teas and honey. And gargling with salt water. And rubbing Vaseline on a sore red nose. “Oh God.” Something inside Sam squirmed again at the image of him touching Dean like that. It was one thing to drive with a sniffly brother in the passenger seat beside him, but another to be touching him. Dean always seemed to want to keep his distance when he was sick, probably so Sam wouldn’t catch it. Dean didn’t seem to want to snuggle or be held or anything like that; he just wanted to sneeze and cough and sneeze in his own bed until the cold had passed.


He quickly moved on to another article. This one talked about chicken broth, but Dean still had an appetite. Peppermint oil in baths, but that might be too close to an herbal remedy. A humidifier, but he couldn’t imagine Dean agreeing to drive around with that in the trunk beside all the weapons. But then he pictured Dean with his clothes off, basking in the warm, moist air of the room, breathing deeply. Sam closed his eyes and leaned back in the chair. That image was too good. He was going to need a shower. Or a run out in the cold. Or—


“Whatcha lookig at, Sabby?”


Shocked that he hadn’t heard Dean’s sneezes at all, Sam jumped in place. He quickly flipped the top of the laptop down.


Dean grinned and coughed. “Caught you readig bord.”




“Bord.” Dean gestured, cupping hands at his chest, miming breasts.


“Porn?” Dean nodded. Sam was about to deny it, but the hot flush in his cheeks revealed all and made Dean chuckle.


“Oh yeah. Just waitig udtil I was asleeb before divig id. I dew it.” His amused expression faltered slightly and Sam knew he was going to sneeze. Sam tried not to watch. But the way Dean’s face just dropped, went slack with helplessness, Sam couldn’t look away. Dean’s nostrils flared. Dean’s eyes closed. Then Dean sucked in one sharp breath and snapped forward. “Hixxtchhhhh!” A wet one. Sam loved the sound of those, and the look of them. Plus they made Dean all sniffly with a runny nose that needed tending to. Sam wanted to wipe it for him. Or kiss it. Or something more. But he’d settle for handing Dean a Kleenex. Sam got up and grabbed the box on Dean’s bed.


But as Sam headed back with it, what he saw stopped his heart cold. Dean was leaning over, one finger rubbing at his nose, the other hand opening the laptop up. Sam hadn’t had time to close the browser windows, so Dean was staring at the articles about cold and flu remedies. Sam sunk into the other chair, trying not to look defeated or found out.


“Whoa, Sab. This isd’t exactly the kide of bord I exbected.”


“I was looking for something that might help your cold,” Sam tried to explain.


But, somehow, even sick, Dean saw right through him. “If that’s the case. Why are you blush… blushig?” He pressed a fist to his nose and mouth, and Sam knew it was going to be a big sneeze. He was getting ready for it, drawing silent, deep breaths. “huhh…” And, God, a build-up. It was like watching Dean sneeze in slow-motion, every exquisite detail at his disposal. “huhhhhhhh…” His voice wavered. It was coming. “huh-huhh… huh-HUPHSHOOO!” He practically yelled as he sneezed, it was that loud, the sound filling the room, the sneeze filling his whole body.


Sam wanted to bless him, but he couldn’t find his voice.


Dean nodded, sniffing hard, clearing his throat. “Sab, I was odly jokig, but…” He rounded the table, gaze resting on Sam’s lap. Sam tried to scoot in, to hide his reaction under the table, but it was too late. Dean saw. Of course he saw.


“As good as porn,” Sam whispered, voice breaking from nerves. “Better… ‘cause it’s you.” He closed his eyes, unable to face his brother.


But then he felt a warm hand on his chest. And a nose nuzzling at his neck and chin. And wet lips against his. This time he felt the hitching breaths. And the twitching nostrils. And the tremble that rushed through Dean’s body. “hihkschh! Heptchhh! hehShoo! H’ehshhh! Ehhhhtchhhh!” So many sneezes. Against Sam’s neck, Sam’s cheek. Dean settled in his lap, arms wrapped around Sam, still sneezing. “hehfshhhh! Hekkshooo! hehhShuhhh! Huhhh-ih-IHHHSchhh!


Sam moaned, needy, straining and pushing against Dean’s body while holding him close. “So sneezy. This cold’s making you sooooo sneezy. I’ll have to help.” Sam reached past Dean for the tissue box, shoving two in Dean’s face. And when Dean blew his nose, Sam felt that, too, tingles doing more than just racing right through him now. They controlled him, demanded more of him. “And stuffy, too. Poor Dean.”


“How’d you survive these last couble days?” He sniffed. “How did’t I dotice?”


Sam laughed. Dean didn’t want to know the answer to that.


“Dever dew it would be so easy to get to you. I feel better just thidkig about all the thigs I could do dow.” He sniffled into Sam’s now damp shirt collar.


“Fulfilling someone’s deepest kinkiest fetish dreams. That wasn’t one of the remedies mentioned online.”


heh… heh-CHIXXXSHHH!


Feeling the sneeze and feeling Dean shake against him, Sam moaned again and knew he and Dean weren’t going to make it over to the bed.