Title: Day 7
Author: tarotgal
Fandom: Torchwood
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Disclaimer: Not my characters, not my 'verse. I don't get paid a cent to play. Please don't sue and make things worse.
Summary: Naughty boys.
Note: Part of the 12 Ficlets in 12 Days project 2009-2010. Requested by BVB

Jack clenched the tissue more tightly in his fist. “I… hate this…”

Ianto lowered himself onto the bed with a travel mug of tea and honey. “I would just like to point out that you're the one who convinced me to have sex with you half a dozen times and kissed me daily last week when I had that cold. So you shouldn't complain that you caught cold from me.”

Jack gave a stifled laugh. “I'm not complaining about this cold. It's…” He rubbed the tissue at his nose. “It's this stupid sneeze.”

Sympathetically, Ianto reached over and patted Jack's arm. “Stupid sneeze?”

“It's stuck,” Jack explained. “Right-huhh..” He rubbed his thumb and forefinger at the bridge of his nose. “Right here. Heh-ehpt! Heh… won't come out.” Jack blinked at Ianto. “Are you… ehhh… smirking?”

“Of course I am,” Ianto said, his honesty taking Jack somewhat by surprise. “It's not often that you complain about anything. And this time it's because of a little tickle in your nose? It's rather funny don't you think?”

Jack narrowed his eyes at Ianto. “Hi-ihhhhhh-hilarious.” Jack rubbed hard at his nose and grunted in frustration. “Can't you hehhhh... do anything?”

Ianto crawled closer to Jack, positioning himself a little behind the man. He put a hand on one of Jack's shoulder's and wrapped his other arm around Jack's front. He nuzzled into Jack's neck and whispered close to Jack's ear, “Of course I can.”

Now that Ianto was in such a nice, comfortable position, with Jack leaning back against him as well, he felt a bit obligated to use what was at hand. Luckily, what he needed was close. He pulled a pillow over and ripped a small corner of it open. Jack started to object, but Ianto's arm was still around Jack's front and Ianto tightened his grip like a reassuring hug, which made Jack quiet. Besides, the sneeze's almost constant build-up and let down now made it difficult to speak.

The feathers in Jack's pillow were small, but would do the trick. Ianto plucked a few out and positioned them between his thumb and forefinger. “Just relax,” he told Jack, his voice soft and soothing. “And… close your eyes.”

Jack hesitated, and then he obeyed. Ianto waited a few moments more so that he could catch Jack off guard. Then Ianto tickled Jack's nostrils with the light, fluffy feathers. Jack exhaled sharply and shivered at the same time. Then came a series of heavy, strong huffs. “huh-huh-huhhhhhhhh!” His nostrils twitched and flared against the feathers, and ianto hugged him closer. “Huhhhhhh! Ianto… I-uhhhhh… I think eh that's eh-hehhhh it.” Ianto tickled faster, listening to Jack's breaths. Faster, harder, more urgent, more desperate. “It's ahhh it's hahhh it's com-ihhhhhhhhhhhh—” The sneeze hung there for a second. And, just as Ianto was sure it wouldn't come, Jack snapped forward. “HIHShuhhhhhh! Uhhhh…” Ianto held a handkerchief up and Jack blew his nose to great relief.

“Bless you,” Ianto said softly. “That sounded good.”

“It felt good,” Jack agreed. “Felt amazing, actually.” He turned his head to thank Ianto with a kiss, but Ianto pulled back.

“I don't want to catch this from you again. That's all we need, to pass this back and forth to each other.” He rubbed another tissue on Jack's nose and swiftly tossed it aside, off the bed. He crawled around to look at Jack straight-on. “No kissing, remember? But there are plenty of other things we can do.”

Jack's eyebrows went up and his hand went down, cupping Ianto's crotch. Jack wore a plain white T-shirt and sold navy boxers, but Ianto was still in his suit, sans the shoes. “I can think of some… some things.” Jack froze in place as his face fell again. “huhh… huhhhh-ERChuhhhh!” He turned to the side then, coughing lightly and sniffling. “Gotta blow by dose agaid.”

“You do that,” Ianto said, reassuringly. “And I'll… see to this.” He loosened his tie, and Jack nodded in agreement. By the time the captain had finished blowing his nose, Ianto had stripped down to nothing. He lounged on the bed, creamy skin against the dark sheets, one leg bent and the tiny feathers still in his hand.

Instinctively, Jack made a move to kiss Ianto, but stopped halfway there, remembering. He rubbed the back of his hand against the bottom of his nose, sniffling again. “What if I accidentally sneeze near you or on you?”

“If?” Ianto repeated. “I don't think it's a matter of if so much as when.”

Jack nodded. His breath was already catching. “hehhh… Ianto?” he asked. “H-help me out?”

Ianto did. “ehhhhh… ehhh-hehhhhhhh…” Ianto tickled, and Jack's breath raced. “ehh-hehh-ehhh…” Jack's eyes fluttered close and he took a deep breath before “heh-heh-HEHShehhh!”

“God bless.”

“ehpTchhhh!”

“And again.”

“heh-hep-TSChhhhhhh!”

“And once more.” Ianto held his hand against Jack's cheek, smiling fondly at the man, who was currently sniffling badly. “Look, Jack, we don't—”

Which is when Jack jumped him, holding Ianto down on the bed, rubbing and frotting and gasping with pleasure. The softness of Jack's boxers felt especially good where skin-to-skin contact might not, until Jack produced a bottle of lube. Jack hummed as he slicked them up, giving little sniffles no mind at all until Ianto started moaning and pawing at the sheets.

Jack's hands knew Ianto almost better than he knew himself. When they held him down, Ianto knew to stay put. When they stroked his cock, he leaked with anticipation. And when they slid around to finger him, he let out a moan of excitement none could match. Jack was getting into it as well, rocking with the motions, gasping along with him.

“Ihh?” And then gasping for another reason altogether. Jack's face fell and his eyes closed. “ehh…” Even though his mouth dropped open and his tongue sat there, no sneeze came. “hihhhh…” Even though his nostrils twitched, nothing happened. Jack forced his eyes open. And instead of looking Ianto in the eyes, he looked down at Ianto's hand, which still held the feathers and, apparently, his relief.

Jack slid down the bed a little and nuzzled his face into Ianto's fist. He moved his head back and forth, doing all the work this time as Ianto lay there, impaled on several of Jack's fingers still. Jack rubbed his nose against the fluffy feathers until, once again, they did as Ianto knew they would. “ehhh-IHTCHHHHHHHHH!”

Ianto's cock twitched as it was assaulted by the warm spray. He moved his hand closer to his hip. Jack rubbed his nose against the feathers again. Once more, he sneezed. “ehgtchhhhhhh!” And, once more, Ianto's cock jumped.

“Feels so good,” Ianto whispered. “The way you move when you do that. The way your sneeze touches me, too. So light and… Jack?”

Jack wasn't really listening. He had to sneeze again, and Ianto prepared himself this time. “ihhhh…” Ianto moved his hand on top of his thigh. “ehhhhhh!” Ianto held his hand right next to his cock. When Jack nuzzled again, his nose was cold and a little damp as it brushed ever so lightly against Ianto's fingertips and his cock. “hehhhh-HIPTChuhhhh! Ehptchhhhhhhhh!”

“Jack… fuck… Jack—hurry!” Jack barely had time for a thrust or two before they were both entirely done for.  

As Jack lay there afterward, trying to catch his breath, Ianto rolled over and kissed him. Jack pulled away, surprised. “What did you do that for?”

“Because I wanted to,” Ianto replied, the paragon of logic.

“Yes, but sniff, sniff, what if you catch this frub be agaid?”

Ianto pulled a few more feathers from the pillow and held them up, grinning. “I can think of some things we might try if that happened.”