Title: Day 3
Author: tarotgal
Fandom: Horatio Hornblower
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not my characters. I wish they were mine. I definitely don’t get paid for this.
Summary:
Notes: Written during my 12 Ficlets in 12 Days in 2022-23 project project for wig_powder

It wasn’t so much shore leave as it was a chance for most members of their crew to enjoy too many drinks in the tavern. After a hard few months at sea, Archie Kennedy could see the benefit of getting sloshed, but inebriation wasn’t his current interest. His coin was better spent having a nice, warm meal, getting his shirts and pants mended, and indulging in a particular relaxing luxury. 

Which was how he came to be browsing the books for sale at the town’s sort of general store instead of getting drunk in the tavern. The selection of reading material was meager, but he wasn’t picky. Anything that might allow him to escape into another story for a little while was fine by him. After he’d made his selection, he headed back to the ship. With any luck, his crewmates would all still be out enjoying the change of scenery and he would be able to stretch out in his hammock to crack open his new book. 

There was a smell like rotten eggs about the ship, which meant some brimstone fumigating had taken place, if Archie wasn’t mistaken. He wondered if they’d done the same to the lower decks to air them out while most of the men were gone and decided he could stand the smell even if they had if it meant some additional peace and quiet. 

“Hihshahhh!” The sound of an urgent sneeze caught his attention as he passed by the sick bay.

He then heard a bit of swearing and mumbling accompanied by some clattering and clanging. “Where have those damnable handkerchiefs got to? I could have sworn I had some right here…” Archie recognized that voice as belonging to the ship’s surgeon. There was a squeak and the sound of things shifting before a triumphant “Ah-ha! Here they are!” came. 

“Hah hah-Hihshihhhh!”

“And not a moment too soon. Honestly! Here, use this.”

Archie heard the sound of a nose being blown. 

The surgeon continued. “This is one for my logbooks and no mistake. I’ve never known a man to be set off sneezing from a bit of brimstone.”  

“I thidnk it’s less the sulfur scednt itself adnd bmore the strendgth of it. It’s ooover… oh… hah… Hihshuhhh! Overbpweridng.” 

Archie stood motionless outside the sick bay. The voice sounded oddly familiar, but he couldn’t quite place it. It wasn’t as though he could recognize everyone on board by their sneezes, of course. But that voice… it was light and had a slowish quality to it. Who was it? 

Knowing he wouldn’t want anyone spying on him were the roles reversed, Archie headed down to where the midshipmen slept. Perhaps there were new enlisted men, and this was just one of them. Perhaps there was no reason at all to be curious. Perhaps he could just dive into his new book as he had planned to do all along. 

“heh-Shihhh!”

Archie looked up from chapter three and blinked his eyes as they adjusted from near to far and focused on none other than his fellow midshipman, Horatio Hornblower. “Horatio?”

“Just a lih-little iiiirritatiodn ihhh-Hshhihh!” he managed to get in just before sneezing, his nose sounding stuffed up for sure from all the sneezing. But he didn’t sound quite himself, either. It was a wonder how Archie hadn’t recognized the unfortunate sufferer as his friend from the first. And, yet, it was also perfectly understandable. “It should bpass soo… sooo… hehh-Ihshoo! Soodn.” 

Archie’s brow furrowed. There was something odd at work here, but he couldn’t put his finger on it. “Get some rest,” he advised.

Horatio collapsed into his hammock, nuzzled his face into a handkerchief, and sneezed three times straight before taking that good advice and nodding off. 

*

It was almost a full year before Archie had any reason to think again on that incident. They had taken several significant losses during a battle with a Spanish ship of the line. In telling the tale now, some on board swore it had three decks, while others were sure it had only two. Whatever the number of decks, it meant the Indy was outgunned. The ship took heavy damage, but it hadn’t been sunk or boarded. Thanks to some clever maneuvering and a well-placed island rising out of the fog, they had been lucky to escape with their lives back to a friendly harbor.

They put in at the port of Cardiff, Wales, for extensive repairs. To the best of their ability, they replenished supplies as well as crew members. Several of the new men and boys they took on board were, unsurprisingly, Welsh.  

The Welshmen had a unique way of speaking, with their vowels stretched out. Those noticeable exaggerations gave their sentences an almost musical sound. In addition, both Vaughn Jones and Evan Griffiths had a sort of nasal quality to their speech that seemed to have nothing to do with the state of their health. It was different from what Archie was used to hearing onboard, but not at all difficult to follow. And that was probably where Archie’s observations about it all would have ended… had Horatio not caught cold a fortnight later. 

Archie was heading down the stairs from the main deck when he heard Jones giving an order to Matthews. While seamen often gave each other advice and checked in with each other to make sure ship operations were coordinated, it was unheard of for them to issue orders to each other. And with Matthews such a seasoned veteran and Jones so new, Archie felt obliged to intervene to make sure the situation didn’t grow heated.

Following the voices, he rounded the stack of barrels quickly. “Jones, I don’t believe–” And there he stopped short, for it wasn’t Vaughn Jones at all but Acting Lieutenant Horatio Hornblower speaking with Matthews. Archie looked about, just to be sure, and only saw the two men. Confused but quick not to offend, he stammered, “My apologies. I thought I heard…” Puzzle pieces he hadn’t realized he’d been holding were suddenly falling into place.

“It’s all right, BMr. Kednnedy. BMatthews adnd I were just revisidng the duty roster. A sbpate of head colds is bmaking its way across the ship, adnd secodnd watch is dowdn foo… four… ‘scuse…” Hurriedly, Horatio whipped out a handkerchief, turned, and buried his nose in the cloth. “Ihhshoo! HIHShuhhh!”

Matthews shifted his weight from one leg to the other and cast Archie a quick, nervous glance before returning his attention to the officer before him. “If you don’t mind my saying so, Sir, you’re not sounding too well yourself.” 

“Ah sniff!” Horatio wiped his nose thoroughly and tucked his handkerchief away, as if removing it from sight could make them all forget the fact that he’d just sneezed. “I abppreciate your codncerdn, but I’bm fii… fiiiih…” It was obvious to all that he had abandoned his handkerchief prematurely. “ihhh Ih Ih-HIHShhhhh!” he turned toward the wall of the ship and sneezed into his sleeve. 

“You’re ill is what you are.” Archie laid a gentle hand on his friend’s other arm. He spoke softly, calmly. “Come, let me get you to bed or the surgeon will have both our heads.” Not to mention the captain. An illness on a ship this size could be almost as dangerous to its operation as a leak or a fire. 

Horatio hesitated a moment before yielding to Archie’s gentle tug. He let himself be pulled away, but departed by calling out to Matthews, “Rudn thebm through the drills a few tibmes so they’ll be sure they cadn work together as a teabm.”

“Yes, Sir!” Matthews agreed. 

“Adnd waah… watch Stevedns, because he…” But exactly what he was or what was worth watching out for was lost to another volley of sneezes. “Hih hah-Chhshhhhh! Hih Ihshhhh! Hih-Shuhhh! Ihshoo!”

With Horatio’s eyes shut when sneezing and the lower half of his countenance buried squarely in his handkerchief, he blindly stumbled along as Archie took him by the shoulders and guided him through the lower decks to the Midshipmen’s berth. 

Archie untied his shoes for him, removed his hat for him, and helped him off with his jacket, waiting patiently as Horatio transferred the handkerchief from one hand to another in order to free one arm then the other. He removed his shirt as well, so it wouldn’t get any more wrinkled than it already was, but he didn’t bother with his slacks, seeming to care more about rest than changing into a nightshirt just now.

They had to wait for him to stop sneezing in order for him to climb into his hammock. The ship’s surgeon kept track of all the patients on the ship, so he’d need to be notified of Horatio’s condition. The First Lieutenant, too, would need to be told Horatio would be out of commission for a day or two. But both could wait a few minutes.    

Hovering near Horatio, though keeping his distance as best as he could, Archie shared what was on his mind as kindly as possible. “I’m sorry again for mistaking you for Jones. But you sounded so much like him. Please don’t take offense, but has anyone ever told you that you sound a bit… Welsh when you sneeze?” 

Instead of taking offense, Horatio laughed. “Leave it to you to dnotice that.” The reply, perhaps due to his heightened spirits or the way his words seemed a little elongated, even had a sing-songy quality to it. “I slow dowdn adnd codncendtrate odn bmy words whedn I’bm codngested so others have a chadnce to udnderstadnd. I thidnk that’s what does it.” He snuffled into the handkerchief for a moment, the amusement draining from his face. “Either that or the… theee… sdneehh sdnee… sdneezes hehIphshhhh!” 

“God bless.”

Horatio nodded his appreciation even as he blew his nose. He let out a deep breath and kept his eyes closed for a moment before opening them again. When he did, he smiled to see Archie holding out a small stack of handkerchiefs retrieved from his own trunk. “Thadk you, Archie. I will use thebm codnservatively so they’ll last.”

Archie agreed that was probably best. He wasn’t sure when he’d next be able to check on his friend. With several members of the crew down, there would be extra work for the rest of them. He just hoped they didn’t run into another Spanish ship any time soon.  

“Ehhh… ehhx… excuse… ehhh-hehshhh! Hehshoo! Hihhh hihhshoo!” The sneezes didn’t seem to want to stop, no matter how many times Horatio massaged his nose through his handkerchief. 

Standing there, watching, Archie started to feel awkward and self-conscious. But he also felt he should at least say a farewell before disappearing off to his duties. The constant stream of sneezes, however, didn’t allow him to get a single word in. So he tried to look anywhere but at the only motion in the berth, the hammock slowly rocking from side to side and the man inside it sneezing. He studied the patterns in the wood grain on the side of the ship and neatened up items in his trunk and checked his pocket watch for the time. 

Finally the onslaught of sneezes gave way to some coughing and nose blowing and a bit more coughing. And just as Archie was about to bless him, excuse himself, and go attend to his duties, Horatio made it known their conversation was not quite over yet. 

“Bmy father’s gradndfather was frobm Wales.” 

Archie placed his pocketwatch back in his trunk for safekeeping and closed the lid. “Is that right?”

Horatio nodded. “I dodn’t subppose it is where I acquired the way of talkidg, as I denver bmet the bmadn. But I recall hearidng he was a sailor. Or a fisherbmadn. Or a shibp builder? Sobmethidng to do with the sea, at least.” He raised his eyebrows inquisitively. “You cadn’t udnderstadnd a word I’bm sayidng, cadn you?”

Archie gave a soft chuckle. He definitely hadn’t caught all of that. “I think I understood enough. Save your voice and your energy. I’ve got to go inform First Lieutenant Eccles of this development.” Archie added quickly, “I mean, not the you sounding Welsh bit! The bit about you falling ill.” 

With an appreciative smile and nod, Horatio closed his eyes. He spoke especially slowly, exaggerating the vowels to be sure each important word was understood this time. “Thadnk you agaidn, Archie.” 

Horatio had done as much for him on more than one occasion, and it felt nice to be able to return the favor. If he knew any Welsh at all, it would have been fitting to share a sentiment in that language. But, as he didn’t, he departed with a soft, “I hope you feel better soon.”